OLD SCHOOL MOM…

As I sat next to a college coach watching and discussing the game, a parent was yelling and screaming. This college coach rolled her eyes and said “he is trouble” Pat Sabino the father of Sam Sabino just happen to see the coaches reaction. Mr. Sabino, moved his seat and worried the college coach felt he was with this parent. Parents need to understand that their behavior has consequences….VIRGINIA STANT GETS ALL OF THIS!

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Parents would be better served… if its not just about their kids!

“Tiny knock it off, the girls feel bad enough and your not helping tweeting about it over and over”  Quote Virginia Stant after the RFH game vs SJV was cancelled due to a wet floor. I thought SJV was getting the short end of the stick that day and was tweeting about it. Virginia Stant could care less about the game, she was more concerned about the feeling of a bunch of high school girls. She was RIGHT and I was WRONG and she was going to let me know about it. Mrs Stant, understood way better than I did...high school is about life lessons not just wins and losses.

 

When I attend a high school basketball game, I try to get there just at tip -off  and sit by an exit and most times leave the gym at half time. The reason for this is simple…avoid parents! So often a parent at games will brag about their child or worst knock another kid’s performance or behavior. But when I attend a Rumson game, I always try and chat with Virginia Stant. Because Mrs. Stant does not live on crazy street.  When I need honesty and truthfulness from a parent’s perspective, I call one parent…. Virginia Stant. Why? Because when it comes to Virginia Stant, you always know where she stands and their is no guess work involved….ZERO!

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Kevin and Grace know their mother is not about EXCUSES!

 

During the AAU season I often get texts from parents, which read like this. Mary had 20 points, played great defense and we won. When I receive a text from Virginia Stant it sounds much different.  She says things like this, the team really moved the ball and everyone looked great, Alex Barazotti and Jess Louro were great, you need to let these coaches know how well they are playing. When I ask how Grace plays, her response? CRICKETS .  You see Virginia Stant understands it not all about her child and its not about her daughter being the star every night. She understands this, despite the fact that her daughter IS one of the best players in the entire state. Virginia Stant does not live though her daughter and more importantly her daughter does NOT get a  pass because she is a star player.

Often times when me and Virginia talk its not just about basketball; You see this is a old school mom. It’s great to have a daughter who is great at a sport, but she is very clear that her kids better not get it twisted, because Mrs. Stant doesn’t play and her kids KNOW IT.  Recently I was telling Virginia about how some girls are dressing inappropriate.  I told her I asked one young lady to leave the gym for this reason. I told Virginia how disappointed I was and how some parents let it go. She said “Tiny some people raise their kids differently”. I was a little shocked by Virginia’s response. So I said “so it okay  if Grace dressed that way”. She looked at me in the way, only she can and said  “I said some parents, but am not one of them” meaning Grace Stant would be wise to continue to dress like a 18 year old young lady at all times. This is what I love about Virginia Stant…accountability! Never an excuse just right to the point.

 

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 This what Virginia Stant is all about

When talking to Beth Chambers, Grace Stant’s AAU coach,  I asked her what its like to coach Grace. She said its so easy because if I don’t think Grace is working hard enough, I just tell Virginia and this is a quote folks “because I know she will always support me”  Now parents I hope you understand what the word support means to a coach. Because this is where most parents fail there children in sports. They feel their child is always right. If Virginia thinks her daughter is not holding up her end of the bargain, she will let Grace know. But it goes both ways, because if you don’t hold up your end… Mrs. Stant will let you know and not through back door channels. SHE WILL TELL YOU HERSELF…. EXACTLY HOW SHE FEELS…..old school stuff baby!

 

Last season Grace Stant was beaten and fouled more than any kid I have ever seen.Folks this is not even up for debate, it was embarrassing at times. I have seen her held, badly bruised and kicked to the floor. I went to George Sourlis her coach at one point and said this is nuts and something had to change. But during the spring I saw a girl tackle Grace Stant and knock her into the stands, she had to be taken to the hospital…NO CALL! I went up to Vinnie Cannizzaro  who was running the event and expressed my displeasure. I felt the girl should have been ejected for the remainder of the tournament.

Then last week at the Hoop Group, the RFH vs Neptune game became a football game. First Hannah Miller was taken out while driving to the basket, then Janae Mayfield suffered a broken nose. It was a tough physical game, but what nobody talked about was the number of times Grace Stant was fouled! Why? Because in high school,  big strong players are suppose to take it. I told George Sourlis some how somebody has to protect Stant. I then saw  Virginia Stant in the parking lot and I said  “they have to STOP THIS or one day Grace is going to kill somebody” and people are going to blame her. Virginia just said everyone is getting fouled and she just has to deal with it. My  jaw dropped and I said “your wrong Virginia”. That night I told my daughter about the conversation and she said this “Dad she’s knows Grace is getting fouled, she just doesn’t want you to make excuses for her” That made perfect sense to me, OLD SCHOOL MOM STUFF…

Now don’t get it twisted, Virginia Stant will stand up for her daughter when she feels something is not right. The difference is, UNLIKE most parents, she goes right to the source and takes it head on. Like when her daughter had a foot injury as a freshman. Some wanted her back sooner and Virginia Stant said that’s not happening and told Coach Sourlis to his face, her daughters time table. This decision had nothing to do with basketball, it was about her daughter’s health, basketball was a side bar issue.  She also believes that kids should be taught the right thing and when she see’s something wrong she will tell you. Like when a player flopped on a charge and smiled last year. She said ” who is telling kids that’s the right way to play basketball” In both cases Virginia Stant was spot on …You see Virginia Stant is a little different than most parents.

 

Two years ago I was at the Maroon and Black high school event. I was standing at the snack bar,  when an asst Coach from one of the best basketball programs in the country  asked me “Tiny how can I get Stant on Campus”… I said call George. But in the back of my mind I said…not happening. Why? Because Virginia Stant would not tell Grace where to go to school. But I also knew she would tell her where she was not going. Grace Stant was going to get a great college experience period. Good Education, Campus lifestyle, kids like herself, honest coach and finally a place where Grace would be happy. This school did not meet those requirements. 

When one of the best academic schools in the country was recruiting Grace, everyone was calling and saying it was over….. I smiled because I knew it was  NOT just academics with this kid.  Virginia Stant is old school  and wasn’t going to let Grace pick a school, just to brag about it to other people.When a college was not truthful in the recruiting process she didn’t make drama, she simply said no problem. When the school came back… she said not interested. When a school told me that she and another player were a package deal. I called her and told her, she said not happening Grace doesn’t do package deals. I asked if she wanted me to call the school. She said NO….why? Virginia Stant is above nonsense…remember I said old school not new school.

 

This summer I stood outside hoop group, I was planning the Academic Elite. I asked Virginia Stant would she encourage Grace to attend. I wanted Grace to attend to attract more coaches. You see Academic Elite is  one of the best one day events I know. It allows kids with no reputations to play on the main court and have the total attention of coaches, many  kids never get this chance. Virginia Stant said to me, Grace will be there. I then said let me see if there is a way she can come without paying. Virginia then said ” She can pay this is not about her” Then I said we’ll tell her to show up for just games. Virginia then said” she will be there from the start like all the other girls.”  You see I was trying to make things easy for Grace because I wanted her to be there, I should have realized that was unnecessary, Grace doesn’t need special treatment to feel special. Her mom has taught her to do whats right no matter what your status is.

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Grace and her brother Kevin know not to expect special treatment

Now keep in mind Academic Elite is at the end of the summer recruiting period. The kids have all played 8 days in a row. In Grace Stant’s case she needed Academic Elite like a hole in the head, she was already committed to Villanova. Yet Virginia felt Grace Should attend, not to just help other kids, but to SUPPORT MY EVENT! ..POWERFUL STUFF FOLKS.

This summer I asked Virginia would Grace be interested in working camp. I like for the young girls to have a role model and someone they can look up too. She didn’t say I will ask Grace or let me think about it. She said matter of factually, Grace will be there. Then after the first day she called and asked me  “is Grace working hard or standing around” …LOL. Not only did Grace work hard, she did more than asked and we begged her to come back. The reason you can get a player of this status to behave this way is simple the mother, is OLD SCHOOL TOUGH!

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Grace worked camp and worked like any young coach

 

Now that Grace Stant is driving I don’t see Virginia Stant as often. Its too bad because it was always nice having her around. She made me realize not all parents are crazy and self absorbed with their children. Virginia roots as hard for her kids, as any parent does. The difference and every parent should learn from her is this…It’s not just about your kid, you can root for other kids and you can support your daughters team without YOU being the center of attention yourself, there’s enough success to go around to all that deserve it…I WISH parents would learn this lesson. Virginia Stant has  learned it better than just about anyone!

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Virginia has taught Grace its about working and sharing with teammates!

 

Parents how you conduct yourself is so very important, I can’t tell you the number of coaches that have concerns with parents. I believe that Virginia Stant is a parent COLLEGE coaches felt they could trust. It helped her child in the recruiting process. I have seen way too many coaches over the years label a kid because of their parents actions. In the case of Grace Stant she was very lucky because almost every coach I spoke to during her recruiting process,  spoke of how up front and honest Virginia Stant was…it makes your kid look better, when you are doing it the right wayTHE VIRGINIA STANT WAY!

 

CORE SKILL TRAINING STARTS AT HOOP GROUP TONIGHT AT 6:OOPM…. Hope to see a lot of new faces…D3 coaches lots of talent feel free to pop in any night!

 

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