This week I was informed a very talented player and their parents who just happen to be good people made a mistake, a big mistake and it was a costly mistake. A scholarship offer that had been extended was taken away. This player and their parents made the cardinal mistake….forgetting that college coaches are watching the behavior of parents more and more. They know overly aggressive parents in the stands will ruin their team and get them FIRED AT THE NEXT LEVEL.
Yesterday a Big East Asst. Coach came to visit me in my office at hoop group. We had a great time discussing players and exchanged thoughts. We discussed why his program recruited some kids and why they did not. In most cases the ones he did not recruit can down to two things…The player was not good enough and the 2nd reason? Here is a quote about one they are NOT RECRUITING “Her parents are going to ruin somebody’s program and we are not recruiting kids with parents like that… EVER” He then went on to say I want kids like Brianna Love for example, kids like her make your program stronger. Then he said by the way do you know she is #1 in her class? You should tell your daughter at Colgate and I sent my daughter a E-mail last night. You see folks college coaches talk. They love helping kids they are not even recruiting. But they only do this for good kids with good parents…
Tomorrow the high school season will start and I would like to give parents and players some real advice. You will be very wise to listen because we have not played a game this season and for the 2nd time this fall a player has lost a opportunity to attend a college for free. Why? BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS CAN’T SHUT UP IN THE STANDS AND THE PLAYER WAS DISRESPECTFUL.
It’s okay to cheer loudly, its okay to yell, clap and even boo the refs. It all part of the game and it’s what fans do everyday at every level of sports. But YOU have crossed the line when you criticize other kids from the stands. YOU have crossed a line, if you make personal attacks of other players from the stands, YOU have crossed the line the moment you think you have a right to say ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT A COACH or player from the stands. Let me give you the best advice you will ever hear…YOUR CHILD BETTER BE A PROGRAM CHANGING KID. If you are involved with such behavior from the stands. Because college coaches DO NOT WANT THIS ELEMENT IN THEIR PROGRAM, if they don’t have too!
When a player talks back to a coach and is disrespectful and there parents can’t shut the hell up in the stands. Here is what may happen if a college coach happens to be watching. That coach may call his staff together and call somebody at 9 pm at night and say something close to this. I am sorry and I hope this doesn’t ruin our relationship. This player was so disrespectful to their coach, it caught our entire staff off guard. The parents behavior in the stands was not any better, they were yelling and screaming the entire game. Then they may say these words… “you need to know we are longer offering”. This is what happens when parents are over the top, before the high school season even starts.
Folks coach coaches all talk and if you are a parent in the stands playing MAKE BELIEVE coach, YOU BETTER STOP. Save it for the drive home or when you are alone with friends. Because if one college coach see’s you acting out…a 100 other coaches will know because word travels fast among the coaching fraternity and parents please understand its a damm fraternity. If you don’t think parents have reputations, for being trouble makers… your nuts. Just like their are schools with reputations for taking questionable kids. There are parents with bad reputations which are created by inappropriate behavior in the stands. These parents question coaches from the stands loudly, yell constantly or are negative. They will coach their kids from the stands and worst their kids will look into the stands looking for guidance not support. These kids and their parents think they know more than that coach and are in most cases only concerned about one thing…THEMSELVES. Now these parents also think once the game is over, all is forgotten….WRONG AND WRONG AGAIN. This behavior is talked about all year, even if it’s the only time a parent acts out. Once a parent gets that label it sticks…right or wrong! or as one coach said recently about a young lady he is not recruiting…”I hope that kid goes far away from home or there is going to be problems”.
Parents you want to be a lone wolf? Go right ahead BUT just don’t get upset if people start unjustly labeling you. College coaches know when you are fighting with other parents. They see when you sit away from the other parents. You say because you want to enjoy the game. But do you need to sit on the other side of the gym? I arrive late for games and always walk out of the gym at Half time. I also try and leave most times when the game is decided. Why? I don’t want to talk with anyone. Whats that parents excuse for separating themselves? Let me guess because they want concentrate on the game….WHATEVER! It’s for one reason. The other parents either don’t want to sit next to you or you don’t want to sit with them. Either way it invites conversation from friends and certainly foes. Perception is reality folks and you better believe that. You also better believe that coaches know parents BEHAVIOR doesn’t change when their kids get to college.
Tomorrow you be wise to keep your emotions in check. Tomorrow you’d be best to set a great example for your kids. Cheer, jump up and down, pump your fist, do the nae, nae if you want. But if you want to be the center of attention it better be for all the right reasons. Because now more than ever college coaches are losing their jobs not because of wins and losses but because of the behavior of parents in the stands and the bad attitudes of their children. These are parents who just don’t live though their kids…they also live in the offices of AD’s, they are the parents who blame everyone for their kids lack of success or disrespectful behavior on everyone except their children. They are not happy unless their kids gets the most points, time or attention. They will talk negative to Alumni and cast a shadow around any program they are part of. These are the parents that are dangerous for COLLEGE COACHES job security, why? because they will not SHUT HELL UP!
SHORE FANS…SHORE PLAYERS…SHORE PARENTS….KEEP IT CLASSY AND EVERYONE WINS!