If there is anything I know to be true. It’s this, we are now living in a time where kids crave status and attention. They also want everything right at this moment. They try to hide this truth. These days kids are concerned with impressing the crowd. These days kids believe what they choose to believe. But the biggest problem of all is there are people around them, giving them false words and support rather than truth.
Recently a talented freshman told me she going to transfer from a School. She originally. attended her current school because she wanted to be in a competitive environment. She had a disappointing season in her mind and thought her development suffered. She didn’t win any awards while others did. She was hurt. Nobody took the time to explain to her, freshman on good teams don’t compile numbers and the road is much harder. The practices, the minutes, the confidence all are challenges. So she transferring and going to play with her friends at a new school. She told me “the program was up and coming”. She told me this team could be one of the best in the Shore. I told her new team that will never be the best team in the Shore. Not one player on her team would be in the rotation of RBC,SJV or the current team she is leaving. Folks these are facts, not something to hurt her feelings. I told her, the new school won’t be rolling out D1 players the way she believes. But you can bet everyone around her is telling her the opposite. Where are the adults giving her a reality check? Where are the coaches explaining to her, it’s okay to transfer. But know what you are stepping into and understand the consequences. How it affects recruiting, hopes and dreams? Nobody is giving this young lady truth. Not her new coach or future teammates. Why? Because she is talented. She wants to play D1 one day. Well her road just got real hard. I’m talking hard as hell and odds are stacked against now. NOT ONE PERSON IS TELLING HER THIS. See now when you tell a young person this, they get upset. I say good because at least they have a fighting chance to make their dreams come true. Because they know what they are up against.
We have kids who truly want to play at the next level. They can taste it, and they really desire to make their dreams come true. Too often these kids do not understand how hard it is to fulfill a dream. I have kids who simply can’t get to the gym everyday. These players are not stars and certainly won’t show up on my early bird D1 list. Many of these kids play on weak high school teams and compile stats. Many are on big time teams stacked with D1 players, so they don’t get time. The people around them don’t explain they are getting stats vs weak competition or remind them that they are in highly competitive programs. They don’t explain for example why a RBC kid or SJV kid is different. You see those kids sleep and breathe basketball. Then on top of that, they are more talented. Kids must be told the truth, you are working very hard. But not hard enough to reach your goals. The excuses you make today are a down payment on your broken dreams. Remember young people always believe there is an escape door, a way back to the light when not putting in the work along the way. They always believe a golden parachute will save them. Folks it doesn’t work that way.
These days what’s more shocking is the parents of even grammar school kids are out of control. They so want their kids to be in the spotlight. They will travel any distance for a showcase or hype game and to get the attention of people who in the end, they will find out do not matter.They believe these games are fun, meaningful and separates them from other kids. Soon they will learn discipline and humble always win out in the end. This is what separates potential vs fulfilled potential. The parents do not understand it about their kids relationship with their teammates and coaches. Not their parents relationships with other parents and the coaches. I have never in all my years seen a misguided group of parents than the current 2029 and 2030 classes. As I told a coach recently the 2027 class was the laziest in Shore history. But the 2029 and 2030 classes are going to bring drama to your table and if you don’t do your homework, they DO NOT CHANGE!… you’re going to get your ass fired” and I meant every word. Because talent surrounded by parents who are fans and not parents is dangerous…and always ends poorly.
Finally it’s ok to want attention and the spotlight for your child. But it’s how you go about it. Do you hold your kid accountable? Do you respect their coach? team and organization? Do you understand the rules are the same for everyone? See these things are meaning less and less. Too often today coaches will put up with disrespect from players and parents always looking for greener pastures. I say let them go, they’re leaving at some point anyway, it’s just a matter of time. Let them chase hype and attention. These people will never fully trust. They don’t understand it’s the #1 thing that lets talent soar like an eagle. Let them get glazed up by people who truly do not matter in the big picture. Focus on kids who are hard workers who are invested in making dreams come true. But doing it the right way… and that starts with one word…. TRUTH
